It’s time to get blended family advice for your step family
If conflicts between you and your blended family partner, conflicts between step siblings, or conflicts between a step parent and step children in your home have you looking for blended family advice, you need resources outside your family. Make no mistake, it is a long journey, and sometimes difficult; with clear objectives, commitment, and a little help along the way, you will find the blended family journey worth taking.
The journey is the destination for a successful blended family
Building and managing your step family is a gradual process. Journeys generally take us to a particular place, making it easy to recognize when the journey is over. But there is no direct route to a balanced and happy blended family. As a matter of fact, there is no THERE at all! With step family relationships, the journey itself is the destination. It is everyday give and take a blended family experiences; it is step parents, step children, and step siblings allowing themselves to be open with and accepting of others; it is strengthening and redefining relationships with biological children; it is creating an environment of mutual respect and loving kindness which encourages the development of healthy and supportive relationships and, ultimately, blended family ties.
Operating in the present
Managing a step family is a 100 percent undertaking, one that requires ceaseless attention and devotion. This is basically true with all families, but as we know, challenges specific to the blended family make paying close attention to individual feelings and needs even more poignant. The success of the relationship you and your partner share is absolutely vital to your blended family. Children and step children need stability and structure, and need reassurance that they are not forgotten, abandoned, or overlooked. When you and your blended family partner focus on making your current relationship strong enough to withstand step family struggles and deep enough to reassure your children that lasting love is possible, everyone wins. It is not easy, though, to always listen when your kids talk to you; it is hard to set aside time alone with your spouse.
Fake it until you make it- blended family quotes
Author Harold Hubert has been credited with several blended family quotes, among them: Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. Tongue in cheek, Mr. Hubert reminds us that love cannot be earned – we choose to give it, or we choose not to give it. It is terrible to consider a world in which only the deserving are loved! Sure, learning to love and accept step children is as hard for you as it is for the step siblings in your blended family to accept and love each other. The answer? Fake it until you make it! Treating each other with respect and consideration can look and feel like love, and is certainly a better strategy than communicating in cold or uncaring ways.
Blended family quotes
Look for blended family quotes that speak to you and your step family. Write them down. Hang them up. Post them on mirrors. Share them. Take comfort and reassurance from them. Read blended family advice blogs and websites, making use of wisdom that helps you today. The next time you read them, you may take away something entirely new!
When we accept that our blended families are a work in progress, and not a finished product, we can let go of stress and self-doubt about our capabilities as parents and step parents. We can live and operate in the present … which is the best way to build a future. If you need more help, consider contacting The Blended and Step Family Resource Center for coaching or going through the book, Blended Family Advice, together.