Getting remarried and creating a blended family is stressful

Dating is one thing, marriage and the complications of step parenting are another. When compared with first marriage newlyweds, blended family partners across the board show higher levels of stress for the first few years after the wedding. It just seems to come with the territory. Never assume that the mere presence of conflict in your blended family is an indicator of a bad merge. Unfortunately, conflicts and stresses are to be expected, but with determination and knowledge, they can be managed.

You love each other and expect the kids to follow suit

Well, after a fashion. The reality is that your strong couple relationship forms the base and sets the tone for all the other relationships in your home. It cannot, however, guarantee them.  Without a stabilizing marriage at its core, your blended family has little chance of succeeding; but even with a healthy couple relationship, the step family can struggle as a whole. The attitudes and adjustments of bio-kids and step kids can be vastly at odds. Some kids might naturally welcome the new blended family, others might gradually adapt to it, and there may be others who steadfastly resist it. If this happens, there is no need to panic.  Instead, accept where each child is at any given moment in time, and continue to take steps toward better relationships. Time is your ally when it comes to blended family success

There are many outside forces that can divide you

There will be outside influences you cannot control which affect your marriage. The presence of children from previous relationships contributes its own stresses. Many former spouses have a tendency to interfere with your attempts to step parent, making the complicating presence of children even harder to navigate. A realistic step parent will learn to accept that there are times when an ex-spouse can seem to have more influence over their day than he or she does. Work hard to not let cross-purpose demands or manipulations work against your harmony as a couple and family. Use good communication skills with each other, and be sure to include one another in decisions about your children whenever possible.

The past sometimes impacts the present

People who feel they have done a good job putting past failed relationship behind them are often surprised at how effortlessly aspects of those relationships follow them into their new blended family life. Fears and assumptions based on previous relationships can easily color how we view our new partner, unless we are aware of the pitfalls. If left unchecked, they can easily subvert the new marriage. Work to manage fears of repeated failures and losses, accept the relationship history your step family partner carries, and actively place confidence in your future together.

Quotes about blended families

Self-help author Melody Beattie reminds us that letting go helps us live in a more peaceful state of mind, and helps to restore our balance. Our letting go allows others to be responsible for themselves and makes it possible for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. These words of wisdom can be helpful to someone struggling with a demanding ex-spouse or with the way our blended family partner responds.  What kinds of quotes about blended families would help you most? There are many helpful websites, blogs, and writings addressing the challenges of blended family life. Let the lessons learned by blended family spouses before you encourage and support you as you build your blended family. For more help, consult The Blended and Step Family Resource Center.