Blended family step child speaks out

When my parents first got divorced, my mom and I spent a lot of time together, and I think it helped both of us learn to cope with being alone. It was hard, but we managed pretty well. When she began dating, it was kind of fun helping her choose what to wear and talk about where she would go and what she would do. Once she fell in love, though, things changed. We talked less and she went out more. When he came over, I felt like a fifth wheel and spent most of the evening in my room. I waited for them to break up. They didn’t. They announced they were getting married.

I had met his kids and didn’t like them

Mom had been a wreck the day he brought his kids over to meet us, fussing around the house and worrying over dinner. It was almost like she was auditioning for something. I should have known something was up then. She babbled on about his kids, their ages, interests, and told me funny little things she had learned about them. It was clear she was desperate for me to like them. I didn’t. The girl was a little princess. The boy was a brat.

Step family dating

We three kids were dragged along on dates only thinly disguised as family outings. I mean, if you are going to take your kids somewhere, shouldn’t you at least talk to them once in a while? We kids rode the roller coaster while my mom and their dad sat holding hands and smooching.  The princess threw up on my lap and the brat made fun of her until she cried. These two were going to be my step siblings? I hoped they would live with their mother! They did, but only half the time.

Blended family life is half a life

When they were living with their mother, the step siblings only came over on weekends, but half the time they lived with us and visited her on weekends. I cannot tell you how much I looked forward to those weekends. My step brother had his own little bedroom where a storage room used to be. They moved my step sister in with me, even though she is five years younger and will not stay out of my things. Mom said learning to share things with step siblings is good for me. I hate not having my own space anymore.

Get a room

I am old enough to know that married couples like to kiss and hug and that it all leads to sex, and I am okay with that.  It can sometimes be really embarrassing, though, the way they carry on right in front of me as if I were not there.  Their bedroom has a door. I wish they would use it!

My step family consists of me, my mom, my step dad, step brother and step sister. I see my real father some weekends, sometimes during the week. It depends, because he travels. I think he has a girlfriend; I hope she doesn’t have any kids.


Sometimes it’s nice to hear our child’s perspective when we’re caught up in a new romance or new blended family marriage. If you need help with your blended family, contact The Blended and Step Family Resource Center for help.